It is truly so so beautiful here. I love being able to see the mountains, ocean, and a river standing in the same spot. The trees, flowers, birds and waves are stunning, intricate, and breath taking.
In America, I go 90 to nothing 24/7. I like it that way honestly. I love being busy and getting things done. I work 25-30 hours a week as a Supervisor at Chick-Fil-A, I tutor four hours a week, I am a full time student in the honors college, I am involved in Zeta-Tau-Alpha, Stumo and C3, I love to work out and spend time with Jesus daily, and I strive to hangout with friends, family and get eight hours of sleep every night. Needless to say, my life is full of lists and thinking about what I am doing next. I am a planner and I love it. I love feeling accomplished.
This past semester was the hardest one yet. I was stretched thin in way too many areas. I was emotionally unstable. I tried taking on too many things. On top of the list above, I was taking a four hour a week scuba diving class, spending hours with my new niece, I began disciplining a few girls, training for a half-marathon and I was dealing with several personal problems/conflicts. I was a mess. Some how, I made it out of the semester with very few casualties and managed to keep my GPA above what I needed to stay in honors. (I was worried for a while there).
After finals week, I could not wait to get to Belize. I knew life would not be as hectic in Dangriga. I was prepared to work eight hours a day and was stoked at the idea of having my mornings and evenings open to do whatever I wished. No agenda. I was giddy with excitement to unplug from the world and slow down for the first time in forever.
And that is just what I did. I deleted Instagram and all other forms of social media off of my phone, I did not communicate much with my friends and family in the States, I left my phone in our room the majority of the time, I did not wear a lick of make up, I stopped caring what I looked like, I began to enjoy the beauty of the new world around me, I leaned into Jesus, I ran, and I read. A lot. It was wonderful.
At that time we were living in the Chaleanor. I loved that place. It had air conditioning, an unlimited supply of bananas (they are super cheap here, you can get sixteen for one US dollar), and beautiful views.
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| The mountains |
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| The ocean |
June 15th, we moved into the Peacework house. I was excited for this honestly. We spent sooo much money on food in the prior two weeks because we did not have a kitchen. The only downside was the lack of air conditioning. As the weeks progressed, I began to miss air conditioning more and more. The desire to stop sweating would come in waves. We were constantly glistening to say it nicely. After awhile, I stopped noticing that I did not have air conditioning.
We all “broke” in different times and at different levels. We all understood the feelings of each other and would end up laughing and enjoying our company after every “breakdown”.
I can only recall two. I am generally a very positive, always looking on the bright side and seeing the good in everyone kind of person. There was one night about a month in to living in the Peacework house in which I could not stop sweating and I was covered in bug bites of different kinds. I went into a scratching frenzy and lost my mind for a good ten minutes. I came back to reality and calmed myself down shortly after and went to bed. This happened again around week seven. Kelsi counted one-hundred bug bites between my two legs. I felt a little helpless but after drenching my legs in coconut oil, calamine lotion, Hydro-cortisone cream, and a blend of peppermint and lavender essential oils, I went to bed.
Being my first out of the country for a long period of time trip, I expected to have some culture shock. It came around week four. With the encouragement of the team and rationalizing my thoughts, it only lasted a few days.
After week five, I began to get antsy. I started craving my busy schedule, the lists, the feelings of accomplishment, never sitting down, and working hard. I had been relaxing for a month. I’d read seven books (and ten+ books of the bible) since I landed in Belize. I craved my busy schedule. Thinking about three more weeks of the slow paced life in Belize drove me crazy.
One afternoon, I realized something big. The last month I spent in America, all I wanted was to get away. Away from the busyness, the schedule, the lists, the obligations, etc. I realized in that moment that the very things I had wished away I was now craving. Then it hit me. Happiness is a mindset, not your circumstances. Contentment is a mindset, not something that comes once you get whatever you are wishing in that moment. “I’ll be happy when finals are over” “I’ll be happy when I don’t have to work anymore” “I’ll be happy when I get away” “I’ll be happy when I turn my phone off” The list can go on and on and on. I remember thinking this way since High School. Constantly wishing away the present for hope that the future will be better. The only thing is that the future becomes the present and you just continue to wish it away for a new future but you never get there. You are just constantly wishing for something that will truly never come. Once you get whatever you are wanting, you don’t want it anymore. You begin wishing for the next thing. It was in this moment that I realized happiness and contentment were mindsets, not circumstances. You choose to be happy in that moment. The present. The future is uncertain. No one can promise you tomorrow. I realized the life I was living for so many years would be a wasted life. Never enjoying the moments I was in, always wishing for the next thing, the next season of life, the next way I would make my life “better”. It was a never ending cycle.
This was the best realization I could have ever made. Nothing I do will make me truly happy. Happiness, joy of life, and contentment only come from within. From the heart. I have to choose joy in every moment of my life, in the moment, for the rest of my life. I have to decide to live in the present and make the most of every moment I am in. I have to stop wishing away the present for the fleeting hope that the future will be better and somehow bring me greater joy.
This was the most beautiful and terrifying realization. Beautiful because it pointed me back to Jesus. He gives me the happiness and love from within. He is the source. He fills the chasm in my soul that nothing else can fill. He makes true happiness possible. He is the source. All eyes on Him. Terrifying for the same reason. I have to let go of my future, my controlling of my life, my plans, my hopes, my fears. I have to hold everything in my life with an open fist, give him control and power and dominion in every section of my life.
I also have to break a routine I have been staying true to for the past five years. I know it will be a process. A daily decision to choose joy and contentment in the moment, the present. I cannot tell you how excited I am to make this transition in my life.
Back to Belize, I really enjoyed my project.
In summary, I had an internship with the Ministry of Agriculture. Lydia and I went around Belize meeting with different cooperatives. We listened, gave business suggestions, wrote project proposals, and business plans. We got to see a lot of Belize and learned a lot about business in another country. It was an incredible experience. We got to see another side of life overseas and I loved it. It was so rewarding to meet with these co-ops, see their need, and help in a way that they cannot help themselves. I also created and ran the Dangriga Instagram. https://www.instagram.com/dangriga_belize/ Y’all can check it out! It was a lot of fun. I learned that hashtags are key. I also have a passion for editing pictures so that was a nice bonus. Work that does not feel like work is the kind of work I want to do.
Overall, I adored my time in Belize. I relaxed, learned, read, worked out, explored, discovered (Belize and more about myself), grew as a person, faced my fears, and accomplished new goals. I would recommend spending a summer in another country to anyone and everyone.
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Marketing major Dotty Fries spent the Summer 2018 term in Belize.
Read more from Dotty at https://dottyindangriga.wordpress.com/
Don't miss your opportunity to study or intern abroad! Start your search at http://studyabroad.uark.edu/search/
