My Heart Can't Forget #HogsAbroad

“Be like the sun for grace and mercy. Be like the night to cover others' faults. Be like running water for generosity. Be like death for rage and anger. Be like the Earth for modesty. Appear as you are. Be as you appear.”
― Rumi

​Currently I am sitting at the Public Library in Fayetteville, Arkansas yet my heart is six hours ahead of me in Meknes, Morocco. I thought it would eventually return to me but here we are four months later and I’m still hopelessly day dreaming about Morocco.  I’ve given up trying to make people understand my experience cause lets be honest they are never going to. And that’s okay. Since being home I’ve realized my life is to a different beat then those around me. I kept trying to sync up with everyone else that I forgot to just be me.

I’ve felt a lot since returning to America. I’ve felt frustrated, angry, alone, and just plain pissed off. Reverse culture shock is real and mean. You’ll come back thinking people will want to hear all about your semester abroad but the ugly truth is most just don’t care that much. The common questions like “How was it?” Um I don’t know Amazing? “Are you happy to be home?” are you kidding me? will become like a broken record you just want to throw against the wall. My daily routine here bores me and I crave a weekend get away to jam in the Atlas Mountains with my best friends.

But in the midst of all my frustration I’ve forgotten to notice all the beauty that IS around me. I’ve been so focused on missing Morocco I’ve let myself slip into this oblivion of self-pity. I’ve searched for the comfort and answers to my problems in all the wrong places these last few months. Now I realize all the answers exist inside ME and have all along. Everything I was abroad I still am here. 

I get some people may not understand that and that’s okay. I’m not the same person I was a year ago. How could I be? What my eyes have seen my heart can't forget. It's okay to be different though. Fitting in is overrated. Change is good. Life is good and Life is Beautiful no matter where in the world you are. There is beauty all around you and most importantly in you!!! I’ve really had to remind myself not to live in the past or the future but in the now and truly appreciate it because tomorrow it will be gone. Be beautiful friends. Be weird. Be bold. And most importantly BE YOU.

This summer I’ll be traveling to Costa Rica and Belize for a community development internship.  I’d love it if you followed me on my next adventure!!!

To the ends of the earth.
Your friend,
Jess 

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To find out more about the ISA Meknes: Language, Culture and Society in Morocco program, visit http://studiesabroad.com/meknes
To learn more about the U of A Community Development in Belize program, visit http://studyabroad.uark.edu/belize 
For more information on international placement opportunities with Peacework, check out  http://www.peacework.org/how_we_work.php#/how_we_work.php