4 month reflection…lessons learned in Rwanda
Today marks the beginning of my fifth month in Rwanda. Can you believe it’s been 4 months already? I cannot. I can’t say my life is completely changed but I can say this experience is definitely one of the defining moments in my life and I am sure it will have a significant impact on my growth and development as I continue to become the person I envision myself to be.
Honestly, the day I left America I was TERRIFIED. I was terrified of being thousands of miles from my family, being alone, figuring out a new culture and language, contracting malaria, feeling unsafe, and getting Traveler’s diarrhea. Today as I reflect on that day and my time here thus far, I thought I would share with you all some of the life lessons I have learned and things that Rwandans have taught me.
1. How to Appreciate Others— as I mentioned in my previous post about greetings in Rwanda, greetings are a really big deal here. When I first arrived, I thought it was the most inconveniencing thing ever. But within a month’s time, I adapted to greeting all 500 people (clearly I’m exaggerating) at an event and realized that it feels awesome to be acknowledged. I also noticed that taking the time to greet people instead of just plowing into questions will completely change your experience with that person and the service you receive. Actually, this is my number one tip for bargaining. I’m less likely to get the ‘muzungu price’ if I greet and have a conversation with the driver first.
2. How to not take myself so seriously—I usually avoid situations where I’ll make a fool of myself but in order to survive everyday life here I’ve had to make a fool of myself. I don’t have an accent when I speak Kinyarwanda and quite frankly I sound ridiculous when I speak it. When I first began speaking Kinyarwanda, people would laugh at me. (actually, they STILL do) and I would become way to embarrassed to speak. But what I soon realized is that they’re not laughing at me. Their laughs are a sign of appreciation and gratitude that I am making a genuine effort to learn the language even though I’m completely butchering it. Completely embarrassing myself has helped me get around the few times I’ve been lost, make new friends, and so much more.
3. How to smile even when I don’t feel it.—when all other attempts to get communicate fail…I have learned to just smile. We all smile in the same language. One of the things, I have struggled with throughout my life is my non-verbal communication. My facial expressions totally give away my mood. What I’ve learned since being here is smiling even when I am frustrated gets me a lot further than scowling. People are way more willing to help me if I smile instead.
4. How to be Patient— I have always been a very patient person but being here has put me to the ultimate test. Waiting for public transportation, electricity, YouTube videos to stream, for a server to get my order correct, for someone to understand my English, etc. have really taught me how to be patient.
5. How to be a better listener—Because of the communication challenges, I’ve been forced to listen in a whole new way.
6. How to choose joy and appreciate the small things— People here laugh, sing, and dance in the midst of their trials, setbacks, and hardships. If they can choose joy when they're dealing with so much, how can I not choose it just because I'm having a minor setback?
7. How to be resourceful—it’s amazing what a cotton t-shirt, swiss army knife, bobby pin, or band-aid can become. I’ve really learned how to find new uses for things I have and use the things I have in replacement for things I can’t get access to.
8. How to forgive—learning about the reconciliation process and seeing it in action has taught me a lot about forgiveness.
9. The importance of family—living with my homestay family and watching my Rwandan friends interact with their families has reinforced the importance of family in my life.
10. How to share— Often times people offer to share their food with me no matter how little they have. There are is no greater example of sharing than that. No matter how little I think I have, I will ALWAYS have enough to share with someone else.
