MY HEART IS SO FULL!!
I just received
my housing assignment (with 10 days until I depart), and the information could
not have come at a better time. Up until this week, the only emotions I have
felt about this journey have been variations of excitement. This week
everything became real. It’s so difficult to explain, but I’ll do my best.
I have dreamed of
studying abroad since the beginning of high school. I chose my college a year
and a half ago based on which university would allow me to feasibly and
frequently study abroad. I was accepted to study abroad 9 months ago. I was
awarded a grant to study abroad 3 months ago. Although I have actively taken
steps to guarantee this outcome, this future of mine has always been to some
extent theoretical. These dreams, plans, and applications have all taken place
from familiar bedrooms, kitchen counters, and (if you know me at all) bath
tubs/hot tubs.
This week the
theoretical gained physicality-a suitcase. The open suitcase surrounded by (too
many) bathing suits and tank tops brought with it a realization: This. Is.
Happening. And now.
This realization
made room for an emotion other than excitement: uncertainty. I am Caroline
George, Tommy George’s child, and as such, I blaze through life without
uncertainty. The unknown is something I either embrace or tackle head on. It’s
absolutely in the running for my greatest strength and greatest weakness… Let’s
just say, I can confidently announce that these past few days have been a novel
experience for me. As I’ve read books in my hot tub (there is a theme here),
played a sufficient amount of Uno with my boyfriend’s family, and thought about
my vacant apartment in Fayetteville, Arkansas, the thought, “What in the world
are you about to do?” has buzzed around my subconscious more than once.
The answer came
today in the form of an email (thank you universe).
Here are the stats that I have received on my family so far:
I know it’s
basically no information whatsoever, BUT this little glimpse at my next four
months means so much to me. I truly believe that you are placed exactly where
you need to be in life when you need to be there and with the people you are
supposed to be there with, and this email quelled any uncertainty about what I
am about to do.
I would like to
redirect your attention to the photograph above and let you look at that
complete lack of information through my eyes. I see joy. I see love. What I see
more than anything is divine governance at its finest. If you were to ask me
what I have a heart for above all else the answer would be, “ individuals with
disabilities.”
The two
highlights of my high school experience that truly shaped my passions were
experiencing Latin American culture in Nicaragua and working with Max. Who’s
Max? Max is a handsome, fiery guy around my age who I had the absolute
privilege of getting to know and working with my last two years of high school.
Max is nonverbal, confined to a wheelchair, and to this day has the most
contagious smile of anyone I know. Max grew me and taught me in ways I didn’t
think possible at 17.
Maritza, thank
you for giving me certainty that in life we are all directed where we need to be.
You allowed me to take a deep breath and hit reset.
NOW: back to the
excitement.
(And packing. So
much packing.)
--
Read more from Caroline at: http://carolinegeorge95.wix.com/puntarenas
For more information on the USAC Costa Rica: Spanish
Language, Ecological, and Latin American Studies in Puntarenas program, visit: http://usac.unr.edu/study-abroad-programs/costa-rica/puntarenas
